How weak I was without His Spirit.
Over the last couple of years, I have developed a solid routine that includes daily prayer, bible meditation and reading the bible. I also attend a weekly men’s small group, attend Church and serve as a volunteer to an inner-city youth mentor program called Empower 225. Daily means I do those things 7 days a week. Weekly means I make room for those events around my full-time job. There are also things I do monthly like lead a discussion table for Healing Place Church men’s program. I show up and serve daily, weekly and monthly. Having these Spiritual Disciplines in place has been a game changer for me. I believe that acting in disciplines that work FOR me has led me closer to God and developing a better relationship with Him. I have improved understanding of how God works in my life, the lives of those around me and His presence in the world. My life has improved dramatically over the last couple of years so much so that I no longer recognize myself! I do not think the things I used to nor do I behave the way I used to. To say that my mind has been renewed…. just like God promises….is truly astounding and amazing to me. Never have I had such a sense of encouragement, accomplishment, clarity and purpose. This comes with an increasing personal power that comes directly from His spirit…. the advocate who works on our behalf. I see His work unfold in me right before my eyes and I do my best to be thankful, thoughtful and wonder what He will do next. I feel like I am being led, encouraged, empowered and pointed in the right direction.
How weak I was without His Spirit.
As I write this blog, I am in day 20 of a 30-day quest to “live my life for God.” I will write about this in detail later, but the reason is for me to grapple with finding out what living my life for Jesus really is about. As I work through the month I see how much of things from the past creep into my daily thought. These are seemingly random thoughts about things I haven’t thought about in years and all of them negative and cringe worthy. It seems to me that the past is trying to invade my mind by deliberately trying to trip me up. It feels like these thoughts are attempting to get me to react and do something foolish without thinking. With certain regret to follow. It also feels like the past would want me to cower in shame at thinking such thoughts. With denial, lying, hiding and wearing a mask to counter such thoughts. And it feels like the past wants to overwhelm me in some way with thoughts of how could I have done such things? Feelings of poor self-worth are sure to follow that path down into inaction and withdrawal. I do not believe that these thoughts are random nor with out purpose. Clearly, I see they are deliberate attempts to take me out along a pathway of thought and reaction that is no longer operational. If it worked before surely, they will work again is true enough, but I am not the same person I was before coming to know Jesus.
How weak I was without His Spirit
The past wants me to shrink from the world and be weak and miserable in that weakness. Resentment building as I get further away from who I really am and attempting to cover it up with lying, denying and deceit. Unchecked the reaction would boil over into inappropriate words, actions, anger and putting others down. Blaming others for my wrongdoing. How could I ever feel anyone was on my side if I was always so weak and low and ready to defend myself from attack? A reactionary defense that is unscripted, unrehearsed, undisciplined and reckless designed to burn it all to the ground…. all or nothing behavior.
How weak I was without His Spirit.
His Spirit has restored power to me. Proper, measured, disciplined with a council that is inclusive with His spirit by my side. Literally living inside of me I am not alone. I confer with His spirit in prayer for taking proper action and having proper thoughts. I ask for guidance from His Spirit. I ask for signs and confirmation as I strive to listen and obey His Spirit. I hesitate properly and I act properly. At least that is my goal. His Spirit has restored me and is restoring me for His purpose. I am to shine the light onto others, raise them up and disciple them to do the same for others. Look at this there is clarity and purpose!
In my journey I am to inspire and motivate others to actively seek the living spirit of God in order to experience His grace, love and mercy and to act and think appropriately with new life. There is no going back. Once the grace of God is experienced, lived and acknowledged my only hope for success to live a life of meaning and fulfillment is to submit and obey His will. He will open a path. He will provide everything you and I need to succeed.
Am I on the right path? Today I know the answer. I know because He is an advocate for me not against me and He fills me with His power to go and His peace to know.